Introduction
Tonight I want to focus on the topic of dealing with
opposition & criticism.
There will be times in our lives when we face opposition
and criticism.
In fact Jesus promised those that follow him they’d face
opposition.
“Remember what I told you: 'A servant is not
greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will persecute you also.”
(John 15:20)
There is a right way and a wrong way to deal with opposition
& criticism. So tonight I want us to explore how to handle opposition & criticism by
looking at the example of Jesus.
Jesus
faces opposition
As Jesus’
ministry grew & developed, so did the opposition he faced. By the time we reach the beginning of chapter 3 of
Mark’s Gospel, the religious leaders were ‘looking for a reason to accuse
Jesus.’ (Mark 3:2). So when Jesus heals a man in the Synagogue on the Sabbath, “the
Pharisees went out and began to plot with the Herodians how they might kill Jesus.” (Mark 3:6)
The Pharisees & the Herodians were not natural allies, it was an
unlikely alliance. The Herodians were a Jewish political party that supported
King Herod, who was the King put in place by the Roman Empire, to rule over
Israel. The Herodians, by supporting King Herod, were supporting Roman rule of
Israel, which brought them into conflict with the Pharisees who were opposed to
Roman rule. This made it difficult for the Herodians and Pharisees to unite and
agree on anything, but one thing did unite them—opposing Jesus. Because King Herod
himself wanted Jesus dead (Luke 13:31), as did the
Pharisees.
The reason
Jesus faced so much opposition & hostility in his ministry, is because he
challenged the authority of the ruling religious and political elite, and
exposed their proud attitudes and dishonourable motives.
Why we face
opposition
There are many
reasons why we might face opposition & criticism. Jesus faced it for doing
what was right, even when that meant making himself unpopular amongst certain
sections of society.
If we’re going
to face opposition and criticism, let’s make sure it’s for doing the right
thing, not the wrong thing.
Mark 3 –
Family Conflict
In our reading
tonight we see that Jesus faced opposition not only from the teachers of the
law, but from his very own family.
‘Jesus entered
a house, and again a crowd gathered, so that he and his disciples were not even
able to eat. When his family heard about this, they went to take charge of him,
for they said, “He is out of his mind.”’ (Mk 3:20-21)
Mark doesn’t
tell us where this event takes place, but it is likely to be Capernaum, and
possibly Peter’s house. Jesus gets falsely accused of being “out of his mind”
by his own family, in other words they accuse him of being deluded, crazy,
mentally unstable. Even Jesus’ own family were slow to understand who he was
and what he had come to do.
Criticism
& opposition from family in my experience always hurts the most, because
they are the ones we are closest to, the ones whose opinions usually matter the
most, and therefore their criticism always cuts the deepest.
And one of the
most difficult places to be a Christian witness, is amongst our family, because
they know us the best, and because they know what areas of our lives fall short
of Christ’s ideal, and get to see us at our worst when our guard is down. And
for those with husbands, wives or children who are not Christians, it is
challenging, especially if they are actively hostile or opposed to your
Christian faith. Family members require the most patience.
This is something Jesus had to face. In the Gospel of John, we read that
at the start of Jesus’ ‘even his own brothers did not believe in him.’ (John
7:5).
When faced by hostility or opposition from your family members towards
your Christian faith, it’s important to stay true to your faith, and don’t
respond negatively to the attacks that may come.
As Christians we
are being changed to become more and more like Jesus every day. In Col 3 Paul
talks about taking off the old sinful self and putting on the new godly self.
This new godly self is characterised by patience, love, kindness and so on. So
pray that they
will see something of Christ in you, particularly as you become more like him.
The hardest thing to argue against is a changed life!
Show them what it
means to be a follower of Christ by the way you live, through the love and care
you show them, in the way you treat others, and your attitude to work and
recreation, and especially in the way you handle conflict within your family.
Families do fall out from time to time, and have their disagreements. Learn to
handle disagreement well. Take time to listen, Paul in Ephesians writes “In your anger do not sin” Ephesians
4:26. Seek to be a peace maker. Listen to your
family, discuss things reasonably, try where possible to come to agreement, and
above all demonstrate God’s love and compassion, and when you get it wrong be
prepared to say sorry and to seek forgiveness.
And when you do
have an opportunity to speak about Christianity be gentle and gracious rather
than confrontational. Ask God to give you the right words. It is far better for
you talk about your own experiences and understanding of Christianity than to
challenge them about their understanding of Christianity. Remember - you are
not the one whose responsibility it is to convince them of the gospel - that’s
God’s. Your responsibility is to present Christianity in the most compelling
way you can.
Although Jesus
faced problems with his family, they did eventually come to recognise him for
who he truly was. In Acts
1:14 that the followers of Jesus joined together ‘constantly in prayer, along with the women and Mary the mother
of Jesus, and with his brothers’, and James the brother of Jesus would go onto
become one of the leaders in the church in Jerusalem. So if you face conflict or misunderstanding
from your own family, don’t despair & don’t give up.
Religious
Conflict
As well as
difficulties with his family, Jesus was also accused by the teachers of the law
of being possessed by Beelzebub. “By the prince of demons he is driving out
demons” they claimed (Mark 3:22). They couldn’t deny his miracles, they were
evident for everyone to see, so they tried to attack him personally by
discrediting.
How we respond
to criticism
How do we respond when face opposition or criticism, or
are accused of something we haven’t done?
- Angry “How dare you say that…”
- Defensive “That’s not true…”
- Go on the attack “That’s rich coming from you….”
- Winston Churchill was attending a state dinner with Lady Astor, who was compelled to listen to Churchill talk on a great number of subjects, all of them at variance with her own strongly held views. Finally, no longer able to hold her tongue, she said, “Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee.” To which Churchill immediately replied, “Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it.”
- Withdraw into self/get depressed – people who seem to accept criticism rather well on the surface while internally beating themselves to a pulp – putting yourself down & being overly hard on yourself.
- Quit “Why bother…?”
- Revenge – looking for an opportunity to get your own back on the person who has upset you
- Acceptance “That’s fair…” – you might feel put down by the remarks, but you accept them, and may want to seek further clarification.
How does Jesus
respond?
Learning how
to handle criticism well is very important.
- Be open
- No one likes to be criticised, but sometimes we need to listen to what is being said.Even if it hurts, we need to ask ourselves is there any truth, or justification in what is being said about me or to me? Constructive criticism intended to help & encourage is important and necessary. It gives us the opportunity to learn something about ourselves and to grow. Imagine what would have happened if when learning to drive I never listened to the instruction that my driving instructor gave because I felt I didn’t need to listen to him. I wouldn’t have passed my test & would be a danger to myself & others on the road. I am grateful for those who have taken me to one side, and out of love (VERY IMPORTANT) have told me things that at the time might have been hard to listen to, but helped me to grow.
- Try to understand
- Sometimes we can be attacked or criticised for no apparent reason, or it comes out of nowhere – someone suddenly snaps at you, and when that happens it hurts. But it helps to try & understand the other person. For example I’ve come to realise that when I am tired or stressed, I get very irritable & impatient, and I tend to take this out on my family. When others criticize us, think about what they’ve gone or are going through right now, because they might be anxious or hurting. For example when Jesus’ family accused him of being “out of his mind” – this might have been an expression of their concern for Jesus. Maybe they feared that as his fame and popularity grew it was bringing him into conflict with powerful and influential people and they were worried about the situation getting out of hand, so they wanted to try and protect him. Or maybe they were concerned that with the pressures ministry was placing on Jesus, he wasn’t taking care of himself, not finding time to eat and this was affecting his mental stability. Sometimes the criticism we receive, says more about the person doing the criticising than the one being criticised. For example, it might be that the person criticising you is worried and anxious about something, they are fearful about loss or failure, or feel insecure, or feel threatened in some way.
- Focus on facts, not personalities
- Doen’t denigrate those who attack him - Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2When Jesus was being accused of being “out of his mind” by his family, and when he was told they had come for him, his response is to redefine what it means to be part of his family. “Whoever does God’s will is my brother and sister and mother.” (Mk 3:34) Jesus is not excluding or rejecting his earthly family, or saying they are not important, but teaching that a relationship with him is open to all people. And that when we become followers of Jesus, we are given another family, a spiritual family, and the relationships are ultimately more important and longer lasting in this family than those formed in a physical family. And when Jesus is accused of being possessed by “Beelzebul” by the religious leaders – Jesus’ doesn’t get drawn into a personal slanging match, but focuses on the heart of the issue, exposing their faulty logic and the truth of his own source of power. “How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan opposes himself and is divided, he cannot stand; his end has come.” (Mark 3:23-26)
- Keep to the issue, don’t get side tracked.
- Think Before You React
- “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19-20)
- Doesn’t get pulled into unnecessary arguments – sometimes the best response is no response. When Jesus was on trial before Pilate he made no reply (Mark 15)
- Respond Gently
- A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15:1)
- Put your life and reputation in God’s hands.
- It’s easier to do this when life is going well and you have no problems, no worries, and everything is right in your world. It’s a lot harder to put your life in God’s hands when you feel the pressure of constant criticism. But that’s when we most need God’s help. “To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. ‘He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.’ When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:21-23).
- Jesus when unfairly accused:
- didn’t hurl insults.
- didn’t retaliate.
- didn’t curse and swear.
- made no threats.
- What was his secret? The answer lies in the final phrase of verse 23-“He entrusted himself to him who judges justly."
- F. B. Meyer wrote: “We make a mistake in trying always to clear ourselves. We should be wiser to go straight on, humbly doing the next thing, and leaving God to vindicate us…. There may come hours in our lives when we shall be misunderstood, slandered, falsely accused. At such times it is very difficult not to act on the policy of the men around us in the world. They at once appeal to law and force and public opinion. But the believer takes his case into a higher court and lays it before his God.”
- Forgive
- Think to a time when you have faced opposition, criticism or been falsely accused. How did it make you feel?
- Why do you think Jesus faced so much opposition to his ministry?
- How you normally respond to criticism & opposition?
- Ways that we can better respond to criticism & opposition:
- Be open
- Try to understand
- Focus on facts, not personalities
- Be completely humble and gentle;
- be patient, bearing with one another in love. Ephesians 4:2
- Think Before You React
- “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19-20)
- Don’t get pulled into unnecessary arguments
- Respond Gently
- A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15:1)Put your life and reputation in God’s hands.“To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. ‘He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth.’ When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:21-23)
- Forgive
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