Peter and Germa
I
love weddings, and it is a great privilege for me to be able to conduct Peter
and Germa’s wedding today. Today we are
doing several things, firstly we are celebrating the love Peter and Germa have
for one another. We are also looking
ahead to what the future holds for them as husband and wife, but most
importantly of all we are asking for God’s blessing to be upon them as they
begin this new and exciting chapter in their lives together.
But what does it mean to love someone? Here’s what some children had to say.
Bobby age 8 said, "Love will find you, even if you are trying
to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the
girls keep finding me."
Rebecca
- age 8 "When my grandmother got
arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my
grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got
arthritis too. That's love."
Chrissy
- age 6 "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your
French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Terri
- age 4 "Love is what makes you
smile when you're tired."
When
asked what most people think when they say “I love you” Michelle age 9 said "The person
is thinking: Yes, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a
day."
Finally,
some sound advice on how to make a marriage last.
Erin,
age 8 said "Don't forget your wife's name...That will mess up the
love."
Dave,
age 8. "Be a good kisser. It might
make your wife forget that you never take out the rubbish."
Needless
to say, weddings are very special occasions, and so we make a special effort to
look our best – and I am sure you will agree with me that Germa looks
beautiful.
Now,
although I’m a man, and therefore don’t know much about these things, I do know
that a lot of thought goes into choosing the right wedding outfit, particularly
the bride’s dress. But how does one
dress for success in a marriage? What is the secret for creating a long, happy
and fulfilling marriage?
Paul in his letter to the Colossians has some suggestions for a marriage
wardrobe. “Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly
loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and
patience. Bear with each other and forgive
whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord
forgave you. And over all these virtues
put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
Compassion, kindness, humility,
gentleness, patience, forbearance, forgiveness and love. These are the things you should clothe
yourself in, if you want a good, lifelong marriage.
Love
requires time & commitment
True love and isn’t just about
emotions and feelings, true love is about commitment and sacrifice.
Louis de Berniere in his book Captain
Correlli’s Mandolin, writes the following:
Love
is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of
promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute
of the day… No. That is just being ‘in
love’, which any fool can do. Love
itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away… Your mother & I had it, we had roots that
grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen
from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
To build a loving lasting
relationship takes time & effort. The
Christian understanding of love is that love is not so much an abstract noun as
an active verb. Love involves
doing. It is not only what we say, but
what we do, that counts. Marriage
is more than finding the right person. It is about learning to be the right
person.
True love means putting the needs
of the other person before yourself, and that is not always easy. For your relationship to grow and develop, it
will need to be nurtured and cared for, and that requires commitment and hard
work. But the more you
invest in your marriage, the more valuable it will become.
I came across this quote
which said: “All things need watching,
working at, caring for, and marriage is no exception. Marriage is not something
to be indifferently treated or abused, or something that simply takes care of
itself. All things need attention, care and concern, and especially so in this
most sensitive of all relationships of life.
Remember to build each other up, to strengthen and sustain, to keep
companionship lovely and alive. Remember dignity and respect; understanding;
not expecting perfection; a sense of humor and a sense of what is sacred and
serious; common purposes, common convictions, and the character to keep a
covenant - in these are the making of a good and solid marriage.”
At the beginning of the service I
began with the words, God
is love and those who live in love live in God and God lives in them. If you want to know what true love is like
you only need to look to God. God is
the source of all love. In God we see
what love truly is like. God's love for
us is unconditional; no matter what we say or do his love for us never
diminishes. God's love does not keep a
record of wrongs, and it is totally self-giving. This is how we know what love is really
like.
Paul, in
his letter the Corinthians wrote these words about love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is
not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices
with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always
hopes, always perseveres.
For Paul these words are not
sentimental idealism. For Paul it was
practical, real and true. He had
encountered this kind of love for himself in his relationship with Jesus.
A few years ago whilst on holiday
with my family we visited the Historic Dockyard in Chatham. There we saw the ropery, where they have been
making rope since 1618. We watched as
they made the rope, which was made by twisting three cords around each
other. The reason this rope was made of
three cords, is because one or two cords can be easily broken, but three cords
woven together cannot be
easily broken.
Marriage
is like a three-stranded cord. One cord is the husband. Another cord is the
wife. A third cord is the Jesus. On your own, Peter and Germa, you can be
easily broken. Together, you acquire more strength. But when you build your
marriage around Jesus, you become three cords woven together which are much
stronger.
My experience is that the love of God is practical, real
and true, and has the power to transform lives.
And you cannot build your marriage on a better foundation than the love
of God found in Jesus Christ.
Peter
and Germa as you begin this journey of marriage, my prayer is that you will
discover true love in all its dimensions, in each other, but also in the one in
whom we experience it most clearly, Jesus Christ, the source and the model of all
love.
So,
as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever
grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave
you. And over all these virtues put on
love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Amen.
